Friday, October 23, 2009

Dear Cat3 Men,

Greetings, from the elite field.

It's been a few weeks since we last talked. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but things are better here. You're not supposed to know that, it's kind of a secret.

How much better is life in the elite field? Well, I have conducted a series of experiments and found that if you are Cat3, your tubulars will roll 100% of the time; verses 0% of the time if you upgrade.

My dog looks me square in the eye every time I walk in the door.

yes, i am always this cute.

Shortly after I upgraded and registered for my first weekend of races, my phone rang. It was the shop letting me know that they had some new wheels for me.


Those wheels propelled me to the top of the bottom third of the elite field. Once news of my stellar Saturday results hit the interwebs, my phone started ringing again. It was the shop again, letting me know that my new bike was in and ready to be raced on Sunday.

it's a limited edition, actually.

'fer reals yo. It's not all olives and cheese though. Turns out I was still using Cat3 cleats on my shoes. The problems these cleats caused have been thoroughly documented. Sunday night I tucked my shoes under my pillow and the UCI faggot fairy flew in my window as I slumbered. I awoke to find a shiny new pair of cleats, with matching shoe shield. Oh? You don't have shoe shields? Well, you should get yourself a set of real pedals then.

stole that fairy joke from Thom, hate him, not me

In Summary

Greg just upgraded. He hasn't even finished an elite race yet and people are already linking to badass pictures of him. See? Life is better here.


  1. Pooch actually looks like he's apologizing for something

    "hey boss, see that box of multi-cat litter behind me? well, let's just say you won't be needin' _multi_ cat litter unless you bring home another cat (burp)"

  2. Holy crap, that guy who can apparently fly on a bike is gonna be in the elite race? I'm screwed.

  3. You have no idea the strings we had to pull to get Dario Pegoretti to paint your idea.

  4. You forgot to mention what the real benefit of upgrading is: the chance to beat Colin R.

    Just one fleeting taste of that gentle nectar has me itching to upgrade.